I love to escape to a world of fantasy and colour where I'm always the protagonist, of course. Trouble may exist but everyone around me makes the light at the end of the tunnel so bright. I matter, I am key to the existence of my world and missed when I am gone. There are goblins and trolls, handsome dudes and laughing children. I am the fairest of them all and never have to be forward. Each day brings a new and wonderful outfit,  never regretted for wearing. I have financial security. 

I wake up to a world of reality and dulness where I am only the protagonist in my own mind. Trouble brews like a rain cloud on the horizon. I am not missed when I am gone. Friendships fade, family grows tired of me. There are foes and hateful people, incomparably beautiful girls and children cultured to expect, take and be disrespectful. I am never happy with what I see in my reflection, but who is after reading this month's vogue? Each day brings a sigh. I no longer have a job. I worry about money which are tied to my plans to travel abroad. I am worried about finding a job, saving enough money and traveling alone. I must escape to new worlds and experience life outside this suffocating bubble.

Open your heart open your mind to a new world

Spread out your wings and learn to fly to a new world
You won't be alone in the end
You don't have to be afraid

Run free and wild, let your heart soar with the eagles

Dear Beauty,

Is what I see in the mirror a realistic representation of how others see me?

Can you ever love someone like me? Is the chemistry I feel with you - the heart skipping, the nervous fidgeting and awkward silences even though there's a million things I could say - existent in your world, is it reciprocated?

Tell me, do you see beauty or are you seeing beast? Is your silence enough to know your sight to be one of pure friendship and unrequited attraction when looking at me? Do you see what I see when standing in front of the mirror that starts from skin and bones to the very depths of my soul? I hope you don't.

Would you mind if I found the courage to ask?

Beast

Purpose and devotion


Life has taken me on holidays and back this summer. I love to experience how life is lived by others. I met so many amazing people and found new motivation in the sun to get up earlier than lunch time and exercise (no small feat for a creature such as myself)! Coming back home brings familiar joys and disappointments alike... Things don't appear as if they have changed at all, but life in fact continues with my absence!


Disappointment in people is an easy trap to fall into, where you see them walk willfully into a world of compromise and desires and away from the narrow road of what is good...you want to shake them and say "I've been there, I've lost, I've hurt, I've regretted, don't walk away, don't do it!" But, as a wise man once told me: "people are where they want to be." I know precisely what it's like to desire friendship, relationship and acceptance above all else and it only brings home an empty jar of satisfaction and memories full of regret and shame. Finding a boyfriend/girlfriend should not to be our main prerogative lest we goal to end up hurt, lost and our vision blurred when it comes to knowing what God wants for us. Him first, us second.


Having a large circle of "friends" is shallow and therefore results in bringing only shallow and momentary "happiness." In a world of darkness, our walk is not easy. I don't know why people walk around convinced that we only ever need to be uplifted and encouraged, never challenged. No, we must stand in a hard place and shout His promises through fear, trouble and silence. We should be challenged to retain focus even when Brad Pitt walks by. Silence is sometimes the worst, we get restless and look for laughing, hype and entertainment amongst peers and the opposite sex when we should be closing our bedroom door and building our armour quietly in preparation for the battles of life. We should be growing our relationship with Him and not be concerned with the numbers of young people in the local church or by how entertained we are feeling. In silence we prepare and wait for the Lord's plan to unfold and in HIS timing do blessings pour forth. This is what I have learned and am still learning.


To my friends who I am praying for, don't walk away from the awesome plans God has for you. You will not find His plans in the same place where you find satisfaction of the eyes, body and emotions. You will not find His greatest blessings under the same rock that you find the pretty surfy girls and the handsome boys, nor all the "friends" and the popularity. It says in His word that the road of salvation is narrow and so too should our focus be narrow. If we let our eyes wander away from our number one purpose of bringing the light of salvation into the dark places and hearts of the world, then we will never end up in the place where we can find the right partner, help the greatest amount of people and win the greatest amount of souls for the kingdom.

"Today you are you,

that is truer than true,

there is no one alive

who is youer than you."DR. SEUSS.

"To God, nobody is a nobody. Each individual has a value beyond computation. Our prayers should be in direct proportion to the desperate wickedness from which people need saving. Nobody should have to go through life without somebody praying for him (or her). (1 Timothy 2:1-4 (NIV)) The ultimate aim of intercession is evangelism – God “wants all men to be saved.” Intercession is not a say-so, but a heart-cry. Our Lord Jesus prayed for us until He sweat drops of blood. He even prayed for the soldiers hammering nails through his quivering flesh. Pray for all men, for Christlessness is terrible. There is only one Savior, and if He is rejected what can people do? There is nowhere to go. So, people just drift along, perhaps together, unknowingly heading for hell. Christless religion is hell on earth. Religious leaders killed Jesus. We see it today in unbridled hate, terrorism, murder and oppression in the name of God. Intercession is urgent. Intercession brings divine intervention. We have one generation in which to save a generation, not a century. Let’s pray and preach, pray and preach, pray and preach." REINHARD BONNKE